I need to vent right now.

And, right now. Is the time i will once again. I am in 5th period, Photography class. My day has been dragged down by a bad note. Lunch time was terrible. & It hurt me. Even though the weather was cold, I felt more cold emotionally then physically. It really is true, isn't it ? Even though it's not a big of a deal as it seems, It still hurt to see it. I cannot help it.

Just seeing it right infront of my face made my body freeze. But, What can i do? There's nothing to say.

And what stabbed me even harder was you walked right past. Not sayin' anything. & You already know what i told you. My eyes were filling up with water. You glanced, I walked.

No further details but, why does this always happen to me? I'm always cold hearted. & With this time, I was actually gonna try. Yeknow? I haven't even tried yet. Whatever though. People are telling me don't give up. & As i love taking this quote out of this song, I will once again. It never really gets old.

"Should i give up? Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads no where. Would it be a waste even if i knew my place?
Should i leave it there?"

What am i going to do? Even though i say i'm okay. All i'm doing is lying to myself. I hate when i do that. I'm the only one who knows ME. Nobody else. I have an emotional side, best believe it. I may not show it as often as you see me. But, it's there. Hidden beneath all this.

I really thought i was gonna make something of this. It's kilt. I had such high hopes too. I was gonna try, because it never hurts to try.

"Trust A Try"

You may be thinkin' "She's making such a big deal outta this." I don't wanna hear that ish. Cause, You don't know what i've gone through. The tears & the heartaches in the past. Even if you do know, you'll never KNOW.

The mistakes i've made in the past with guys make me not make the same mistakes with this one. And, I haven't really. It's just,

Things don't go the way you plan them to go. Or, Things don't always appear to be the way they seem.

I really do live by that, cause i've learned that really is the truth in some cases.
But, the question is WHY? That question haunts me all the time. Everyday of my life i wonder why? I found the answer. The answer is "I don't know" because, it just is. In other words,

"It is what it is." - Joerell Peralta.
I've never forgot about that quote.


Are you different? Really. Are you now? I don't wanna go alll the way back when i said what i shouldn't of said. But, Anyways.

I'm gonna go, for now.

kdonebye.